update....

Thank you for all your kind comments/emails/phone calls/visits/etc. It's a really hard time but I feel so blessed to have such great family and friends to take care of us. Rob has had to be out of town 2 days out of the last week and that's been hard but everyone is helping take good care of me and of Robby. It's hard for Robby to see mommy sad and it's hard for him to spend the day away from me but I know he's having fun with his cousins and friends.

So everything is going ok - warning this might be a little too much info for some so skip this part if you don't want the details - I was scheduled to go to the hospital Monday morning at 6:15 am for a d&c. Sunday night it looked like I was starting to make some progress on my own and by 5:30 the next morning I decided to cancel the d&c and stay home and see what would happen from there. Monday was really hard, lots of pain and I think that I passed most everything that day. It's all slowed down considerably so it feels just like a really bad period. Sorry if that's tmi I'm trying to not go too into detail believe it or not. I will go to the doctor on Thursday to check my hcg levels (blood test) and then they'll do that again next week to make sure it goes all the way down, that's how they'll know if it all came out on it's own or if they still need to do a d&c. So please pray that it will work on it's own. I am grateful to be able to do it naturally and avoid the surgery and hope we'll continue to avoid it.

I just have to say I had no idea how physically painful a miscarriage would be. Emotionally, of course. But I didn't really consider everything your body had to go through. It is awful. And I had prescription drugs. I don't know what I would've done without Lindsay there babysitting me... If you ever have to go through this make sure you have someone with you at all times! Thank you, Becca, for making sure I did that because I did not know what to expect...

Monday Becca (my sister in law) had him all day (we put him to bed there Sunday night) and she had told him that mommy was sleeping/resting so when Rob went to pick him up he asked him if he wanted to go see Mommy and he said, "no, mommy seeping!" So that's what I keep telling him when someone comes to pick him up to play - mommy needs to stay here and sleep and then you'll come back. The other thing he said to me when he was leaving one day - he was hugging me and said, "be right back, mom." That's what I always say to him when I'm leaving him somewhere... it was really sweet. He is such a sweet boy and I'm glad I have him.

Tonight Rob is out of town and I just can NOT fall asleep! And I am exhausted. Sometimes I can't sleep when my mind is full so I thought this would be a good chance to give you all an update.

It does help to know so many people have gone through this, including 2 of my own sisters, several friends, and all the other experiences I've heard.... thank you everyone who has shared your experience with me. I'm grateful for everyone who's comfortable enough talking about this - it makes me feel comforted and also it makes me feel more comfortable about the fact that I do want to talk about it/share it with others. I feel bad that it is kind of a taboo subject in our society and I understand, now more than ever, that it is painful to talk about, but I have also been helped by hearing your stories and being able to discuss mine.

Love you all and thanks again for your prayers and kind words....